Night Rider

Prince Leatherback slew the ugly dragon with a tethered two-by-four.

Centuries of folklore have fantasized tales like Prince Leatherback’s. Always embellished with fairy godmothers and opulent castles where damsels in distress perch atop a lonely tower awaiting their romantic rescue. The hero inevitably arrives by white stallion at the perfect moment of suspense, slaying the damsel’s gatekeeper with a glowing sword wielded by some supernatural blacksmith. But these magical myths, while emotionally invigorating, are not tales of truth.

Prince Leatherback, on the other hand, is as real as summer’s sunburn. He’s a rambling rogue; a nomad going nowhere; an itinerant on life’s lonely highway. There is no castle on his horizon or pouting princess in his heart. Prince Leatherback does not seek adventure. Adventure hunts for him.

It is said he does not sleep. He eats to feed a family, and does so with devour. His beard is neatly chaotic and nests a clan of knives. His ponytail tightly wrapped and rolled thick like a cattle rancher’s whip. He wobbles like a drunken grizzly bear from roadside bar to country cantina. But do not misconstrue his debaucherous sway as aloof languishing. Prince Leatherback can swivel on a pivot and kill you instantly with a swift whip of his head, slashing your throat with his tightly woven ponytail.

One steamy Texas night, Prince Leatherback is cruising the countryside with Cyclops, his trusty travel companion. With no particular place to go, Prince Leatherback suddenly hears a caterwaul in the distance. Cyclops lifts his lonely eye and rushes toward the cry. It isn’t five dark minutes before Leatherback and Cyclops arrive on the scene.

Her face is badly bruised. A swirl of snot and blood slaloming down her cheek. Tears swimming in a blue lagoon under each eye. Her assailant staggers at the sight of Prince Leatherback. The near empty whiskey bottle drops to the dirt, shattering like a million broken hearts. Fear consumes the ugly dragon. Prince Leatherback creeps toward him ever so slowly. He stops. Kneels down in the dirt and grabs a splintered two-by-four. The ugly dragon stumbles and falls to the ground.

Prince Leatherback drops the bloody wooden block and gently helps the beaten woman to her feet. Without a word, he hops on Cyclops and rides off to the next roadside bar.

Prince Leatherback slew the ugly dragon with a tethered two-by-four.