Betsy Blue

It’s the tenth frame.
Andy is beating John by one point. One pin.
Your average Joe might shit his socks in this situation.
But John is more composed than Mozart.
(Plus he’s not even wearing any socks).

John rises from his red plastic bucket seat one big toe at a time.
He slurps down his last gulp of Johnny Walker
And scrupulously situates the empty glass on his glossy red throne.
Licking his lips with whiskey delight
John whisks around and gives Andy the stink eye.
He doesn’t really know what the stink eye is
But John hopes he has struck fear in the heart of his opponent.
(With any luck Andy won’t misinterpret John’s taunting as a retort to his flatulence).

This is the moment of truth.
John struts over to the conveyor belt.
He reaches for Betsy Blue—
A darling beauty with the fiberglass curves of a Laotian Queen.
John presses Betsy to his lips and gives her a smack of whiskey breath.
He licks his lips again
Savoring the flavor of Betsy’s bowling alley lip-gloss.
John takes three intoxicated strides forward
And lets Betsy fly…

Game over.